No one can build you the bridge on which you, and only you, must cross the river of life. There may be countless trails and bridges and demigods who would gladly carry you across; but only at the price of pawning and forgoing yourself. There is one path in the world that none can walk but you. Where does it lead? Don’t ask, walk!
—Nietzsche
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
― Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
Here at Jill’s Scene things have been rather quiet; a quiet that indicates calm but reflects change. For twenty years I’ve walked down this path,
up these stairs
to this door or another earlier version of it.
On the other side of that door I’ve worked my life’s work—or, at least, this portion of it—work that involved a lot of listening, and a lot more thinking and reflecting and learning, and no small amount of talking.
Now it’s done. I’ve closed this door for the very last time.
The reactions of others have been interesting—from obvious envy, to disappointment, to encouragement. Some are relieved—my stepping aside allows more room for them. Many have been taken by surprise. Others fear I’ll be on the sidelines of life because I’m no longer participating in the work force in the traditional manner; those people don’t know me very well.
What brought about this change? You could say it began here, in the Gulf of Thailand,
with a conversation. All change begins with talking, right?
On an old supply boat that was the only transport to Koh Wai, a very small island best described as remote and rustic, John and I met a couple, maybe ten years older than I am, who were doing what we would like to do. Don’t put it off, was their sage advice. The day will come, sooner than you think, when you won’t be able to do it. Then, it was 2013, not working at my work, an occupation I spent more than eight years obtaining the letters after my name that enabled me to do it, in the way I wanted, seemed, well, ridiculous.
You could also say, it’s to do with family position – a theory which suggests your position as the oldest, middle, or youngest child influences how you are in the world. I once challenged a colleague to identify mine. I thought my family of origin structure was sufficiently complicated and I was sufficiently my own person that he was bound to get it wrong. He guessed/identified it correctly.
You could say, and I’d agree with you, this big change has it’s origins here: with these two entrepreneurial people.
They each tackled life their way. They took risks, huge risks, both of them. Dad was the business entrepreneur. And the chief encourager to do things differently. Mum just went out and did it. Most dramatically, when she was several years older than I am now, she went travelling on her own, around Europe for nearly five months. That made a huge impression – it was the eighties – not many women 60+ years did that kind of thing back then. Mum had never travelled on her own before, much less gone as far as Europe.
Before my parents, in every generation, as far back as we can trace, there have been risk takers. There had to have been—it’s only a willingness to try for a different way of life that leads people to the bottom of the world.
So, yesterday, I walked along the hall, down the stairs,
with one last glance up at this skylight which,
along with all the other art deco features in this building, has been a daily reminder of the enduring nature of the work of the artisan, I walked through this door,
into that very ordinary street to live my life, differently.
WP Photo Challenge (extra)ordinary
(All these photos, with the exception of the photo of my parents, were taken with my phone.)
Thursday Doors is a feature on Norm 2.0. Dan over at No Facilities says he’s addicted!
Categories: On Life
Thanks great bblog
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I have been enjoying your posts and I just came upon your back story. Wow! I’m not much of a risk taker and I’m always in awe of those who take the leaps!
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Thanks BookClub Mom! The difficult bit was making the decision. Once I’d done that, it was surprisingly easy to act on it. And I realised with a shock a few days ago, five months have already gone by!
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And so will you always be traveling? So adventuresome to me. Got on a plane for the first time in 20 years last summer!
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I went for about a decade, maybe more, without getting on a plane when the children were young. it is more frequent now. This next twelve months or so will be a mix of travel and time at home, and then we’ll work it out from there.
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Actually got on a plane again in January. 2 big cross country family trips so maybe I’m getting braver!
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I’m catching up after 3 weeks away and this post is a beauty. Oh I do applaud your decision Jill, life is going to just blossom for you, the world, as they say, is your oyster now. Has John retired too? I will pack my cyber space bags and follow along.
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By the way, this was a fabulous post.
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As second child, myself, you ‘pear to be one. But whichever or whenever, YOU GO GIRL!!!
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😉 Thanks so much, Janet, and I’m glad you enjoyed the post.
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All the best with your new journey and the new doors, real or metaphorical, that you’ll be opening.
janet
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Lots of both, I’m sure! Thanks for your encouragement, Janet.
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Lovely story and door. I cannot imagine how many adventures you have planned and I wish you the best with each and every one of them. 🙂 I’m going to remember ‘chief encourager. 🙂
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Hi Judy, welcome to my blog! Thank you for the best wishes, there are few adventures in the pipeline.
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Best wishes! I left work 3 years ago and have never looked back.
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Now that’s music to my ears, Anabel!
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Lovely post Jill, good luck with all your new ventures and whichever new doors open up to you.
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Thank-you Jane!
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Good for you! Sometimes we have to just ‘go for it’ and change the way we live our lives. I hope we can come along on the journey with you, make room in that rucksack… 😉
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Hi there heyjude, There’s room in this virtual rucksack for everyone who wants to follow along.
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Oh good. I shall make myself comfortable then 😀
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Beautifully written! It sounds like a very brave change of direction. I love the photos of the doors and the paths; very significant.
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Thanks so much for your encouragement, Sona 🙂
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Jill, this sounds like a wonderful new direction. 🙂
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I think the time is right to take a different path, Gallivanta.
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🙂
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I hope this change brings you many, many happy moments.
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Thanks so much Claudette!
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Hi Jill – isn’t that strange – I didn’t know Aunty Mavis did that trip?
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HI Chris, She was away for five months and made friends with other travellers on the trip who she stayed in contact with for the rest of her life. A day or to after she left Dad rang me for help with the dishwasher – he didn’t know how to open the door, much less start it. The funny thing is, neither did I!
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Well done to you for reinventing yourself, Jill. It can’t have been an easy decision, but I’m sure there are exciting times ahead for you. Lovely tribute to your parents. 🙂
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Hi Sylvia, you’re right, the toughest part was deciding I was prepared to take the risk that comes with a change like this.
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Good luck. 🙂
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It’s an honour to walk through the next door with you. Let’s go!
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Wouldn’t be the same without you!
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Congratulations Jill, it sounds like the start of a brilliant new adventure. The end of your post brought tears to my eyes, it’s beautifully written.
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Oh, thanks desleyjane!
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Hoorah. Jill, I loved your blog. The pictures of those pathways and doorways told me so much. Go well, brave adventurer!
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Hi there Debra, Interestingly, I chose those photos simply because they reflected my daily walk to work but they do have a symbolism, too. Thanks so much for all your encouragement.
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Through the most mysterious door of all…
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Beautiful said! World get ready, here you come! Congratulations! Looking forward to seeing where you take us from here.
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World get ready! Yes, it does feel a bit like that, thank-you Lisa, cos here I come!!
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Oh wow, congratulations! Very exciting to start a new chapter in life (although no doubt scary as well). I wish you the best of luck. May it bring many wonderful things your way.
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Thanks so much, Carrie. It is scary but exhilarating, too.
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Welcome and good luck with your next chapter. If it takes you through some other interesting doors along the way, I hope you’ll drop in and share them with us 🙂
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Thanks Norm, I plan to do just that! And I’m looking forward to checking out the other contributions.
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I should have added that the first door is beautiful!
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I thought you might appeciate that door, Dan. My photo really doesn’t do it justice, it’s made from a native NZ timber which glows with warmth.
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I love the style, and the large transom
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I’m officially jealous but I can see how you would have mixed feelings. Thanks for the shout out. Best of luck with the next chapter. I hope you keep bringing us along for the ride.
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It feels like a brave step, Dan, but the right one. And I’ll have plenty to talk about so I’m expecting to be around here rather a lot. Although over the next few weeks posts might be a bit erratic: connectivity in Myanmar is likely to be limited.
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I’m looking forward to seeing your activity.
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